SF Auto Show 2009

I was fortunate enough to be home for Thanksgiving this year, which - coincidentally - is the time of year when the joyous rumble of V10s and the sweet scent of turtle wax draw crowds from the Bay Area for miles around. Every year, my dad and I make a tradition of heading up to the city, staring both wistfully and lustfully at the many exotic cars, and then having the best damn burger and milkshake you'll ever have. I've lost track of how many years we've been doing it, but I'd wager close to 10.

Anyway, this year's show definitely did not disappoint.

Starting off, we have the Cadillac Converj concept.

Let's hope the name is conceptual as well, because

it is just ridiculous (just spell things properly,

people). Despite looking rather spaceship-y, this

is an all-electric soggy muffin with a piddling

amount of horsepower.

Another new entry into the 'well, we probably

shouldn't but let's do it anyway' segment is the

Lotus Evora. It's admittedly a sweet car, and

is a surprising departure from Lotus coupes

of the past in the sense that it's a 2+2,

meaning there is room in the back for two

people without legs or one person lying on

their side.

While I have no doubt that the smooth-as-silk

leather and teak deck finish in the back are oh-

so-nice, I just have no interest in driving

something that would automatically qualify

me for a boat license (having driven the

tugboat-on-wheels Chrysler 300, I can't

even fathom driving something that weighs

precisely 1 ton more).

I don't know much about this car, to be honest.

I believe it's made by someone called SV and

has a tuned Corvette engine in it.

NOW we're talking - the Aston Martin DBS,

one of the most beautiful cars to grace the

asphalt. I have never been built up and then

dealt a crushing blow as I was when this car

was featured in Casino Royale.

Porsche had their brand-new 4-door on display

- the Panamera. I'm surprised they had it open

for people to sit in, since most of their cars are

usually locked up tight. Maybe sales are slow...

it does look like someone sat on it.

While I have never been a huge fan of Cadillacs,

you've got to hand it to them for creating the

fastest production saloon in existence at the

moment (specifically, the CTS-V).

True beauty - the Audi R8 V8. Such a thing

of beauty, this one.

Annnnnd then there's this. I'm not even certain

what this was at one point, but you would have

to be obsessive-compulsive to keep it looking

like this (no offense intended to the sufferers of

OCD out there).

And just for humor's sake, we have the Zeppelin.

At one point it was some huge ugly monstrosity,

now transformed into a huge ugly pearlescent

monstrosity.

And now for something slightly more attainable:

the Audi S4. Subdued yet aggressive. Harsh

yet refined. Something yet something. Such a

fantastic car.

But Carson, you ask, why are we coming back

to the R8? Because this is no ordinary V8

supercar. Audi has released a new engine for

this jaw-droppingly-gorgeous machine: a V10.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah...

Baby got...rear diffusers...and check out

those massive oval tailpipes! Just like on the

outgoing RS models...so good.

The new(-ish) speedy saloon from Lexus, the

IS-F. Rather unique are the stacked tailpipes.

I looooooove old cars like this with the long

curving fenders (Morgan still makes modern

cars like this styled after the brilliant cars of

the early 1900s).

Another fantastic old car - the 1938 Talbot

Lago T120 Roadster.

Another amazing piece of history - the Bugatti

Type 57. Hard to believe that the company

that was making those is now making these.

I sadly can't recall the make of this one, but

would have loved to have driven on back in

its day. Just look at the hoses coming out

the side - they're like veins.

Vrooooooom...

Dubai, or, How I Learned the True Meaning of the Word 'Sweaty'

Because I have forever and always wanted to see it, I picked a flight back to Sydney that went through Dubai. Sure, it's 3 and a half hours in the wrong direction (or right direction, if you keep going a bit further), but it was cheaper than some of the slightly more direct flights back to Australia. Plus, I got to see Dubai.

I only had 24 hours there, essentially arriving at noon one day, and departing at noon the following day. Flying in, I saw vast expanses of desert, until the seas of sand gave way to...more sand. After a considerable amount of sand, we suddenly flew over some semblance of civilization, and then just as suddenly landed in the middle of it. Except that we were also surrounded by palm trees.

Dubai really is a desert oasis. It's essentially a city of people who decided that a ridiculously hot strip of desert along the water would make a nice place to live, and the consequences be damned. Gotta give them some credit for that.

I had booked myself in a pretty nice place, since I didn't really know when I'd be back again (but looking back, I think it will be sooner rather than later). I was met at the airport by the hotel representative, and shown to my private 7-series BMW which would take me back to the hotel. The driver had been sitting in it with the A/C on for a little while, so it was at the perfect arctic temperature. Which is great when it's 104 degrees outside. Why I had bothered bringing jackets to three of the hottest countries ever is beyond me. Anyway...

On the drive to the hotel, the driver was very helpful in pointing out interesting landmarks along the way. Most of Dubai is still being built, and they have a considerable % of the world's cranes in use at the moment. That being said, there was some truly spectacular architecture there.

This is the Burj Dubai, the tallest building in

the world.

It stands at 2,684 feet tall - that's over

half a mile.

There are really no words for this thing -

it's like a massive metal spike tearing into

the sky.

There were a few other fantastic structures as well, including a still-under-construction monorail, the stations of which looked like sleek geometric eggs, as well as many buildings that looks like nothing else anywhere in the world.

I came to the conclusion that Dubai is home to many rather competitive people - and this isn't a bad thing at all. It's just a bunch of people who want to have the fastest car, the tallest building, the biggest yacht, or something that no one else has in the world. I was reading an article that describes Dubai as being made up of the 'have nots' and the 'have yachts.' Having seen a small glimpse of it myself, I can say that this is not far off.

The Mina A' Salam (Harbor of Peace), where I

would be staying for the next 24 hours.

The view from my room - yes, that is the

Burj Al Arab right next door.

My resort was essentially one of 3 that was

connected by a series of waterways and canals

accessible by gondola.

One view of my room - this was without a doubt

the nicest place I'd ever stayed. I mean, just

look at all the pillows.

Obligatory bathroom shot. The complimentary

shampoo / conditioner / etc had little Persian

tower domes for lids, like the buildings in Aladdin.

Looking out toward the balcony from the foyer.

The rest of the city from the hotel. If you look

closely at the skyline toward the right side of

the picture, you can see the building that houses

the indoor ski slope. Didn't make it there this

time, sadly - next time, though.

The entrance hall of the hotel, complete

with pool full of rose petals. They did not

look too kindly on my swimming in it.

I had every intention of heading out into the city and exploring, but when your sunglasses and camera do this when you head outside...

All you want to do is this...

Comfy.

Yes, within about ten seconds of walking outside, I was sweating through my shirt thanks to the wonderful humidity there. I quickly changed my plans and decided to head out to the beach instead. Skipping like a child toward the welcoming water, I was a bit surprised to discover - after splashing in up to my chest - that the water was about 90 degrees. There is just no escaping the heat. Except back in the hotel room. And I wasn't ready to go back in yet.

I hung out on the beach for a couple of hours, floating in the warm water in the shadow of the imposing Burj Al Arab. Seeing pictures of it really doesn't do it justice - I was simply in awe. It was just such a surreal experience. After a bit of a snooze on the beach, I wandered groggily back up to my room.

This was actually a really nice beach -

deserted, clean, fine sand, warm water.

With some time to kill in the afternoon, I wanted to go see the Burj Al Arab. Fun fact: if you are not staying at the Burj Al Arab (which starts at around $1400 / night), there are only certain hours you are allowed to visit. Fortunately, since it is in the same group of hotels where I was staying, they have complimentary buggies that take you over there. The only catch? You have to dress in smart casual attire. Crap.

Dressed up to the nines, I hopped in a buggy and cruised over.

The only way to access the hotel is via an over-

water bridge leading out to the island. It's

essentially a hotel with a moat. Awesome.

There are just no words for the amount of money that must be in this place. Here are a few highlights from my visit.

Each of the escalators are flanked by massive

fish tanks.

The lobby area houses a sizable water show

fountain.

Looking up the middle of the hotel from the

lobby. There were so many colors and

patterns, yet they all seemed to blend

together without being too loud.

The materials used are some of the most exquisite

ever - gold, marble, mosaic tiles. They spared

no expense.

Another colorful fountain located in the

upper lobby.

An incredible tile mosaic on the floor of the lobby.

Mr. Helmut Swarovski had this 1:750 scale

model of the Burj Al Arab crafter out of

crystal, just for the hotel.

Descending the escalator down into the lower lobby.

Someone had a really sweet white Rolls Royce

parked out front the hotel.

Someone also had a white guy parked out

front of the hotel.

Another shot of the waterways surrounding

my resort.

The sun setting out over the Arabian Gulf.

I had made 9:oo pm reservations for dinner that evening, because I wanted to fit in a massage beforehand. The spa was absolutely spectacular - sauna, steam room, plung pools, waterfall showers, lounge - and I had the entire thing to myself. The massage itself was amazing, and was definitely overdue from a busy couple of weeks.

When I got back to my room, this was waiting for me:

OH MY GOD, WHAT ARE YOU?

Seriously, what are you? You're starting to

creep me out.

After showering up for dinner, I made my way over to MJ's, which was a steakhouse located in the resort.

It was a nice place - kinda 1930s Chicago themed

inside.

To repeat, please: There ees too much peppar on

my paprikash.

Dinner consisted of warm, crusty bread, a cream

of mushroom and truffled soup, onion rings, truffle

mashed potatoes, and a wagyu sirloin, folowed by

a delicious creme brulee for dessert.

This was just a really spectacular chandelier I

saw as I was walking back toward my room.

The Burj Al Arab is lit up at night, switching

every so often between the colors of the

various Emirates.

My flight left the following day - 13 and a half hours back to Sydney on a new A380, complete with atmospheric lighting to simulate a sunrise and sunset. I had hoped to sleep at least a little bit on the flight, but thanks to a crying baby and a kid who didn't understand the meaning of an 'inside voice,' I just ended up watching a lot of movies and a half dozen episodes of Friends. We did fly directly over Maldives, though - really made me want to plan a trip there.

After eating and sweating my way through two weeks in Asia, the cold winter air of Sydney bit at my face as I left the airport. It was good to be home.