Back of Bourke: Tales from Down Under: Western Plains Zoo, or, Dubbo the Pleasure, Dubbo the Fun

For Christmas, Alex and I - spurred by our mutual obsession with animals - decided to go to Dubbo for a weekend to visit the Western Plains Zoo, the sister zoo to Sydney's Taronga. She hadn't been since she was a wee lass, and I had (shockingly) never been before. Aside from the prospect of spending the night at the zoo in the Zoofari Lodge and getting some up-close-and-personal time with the animals, one of the main draws of this zoo is the fact that it's a much larger layout, and you can ride bikes around the grounds. Win.

We left Friday afternoon to try and (unsuccessfully) beat the traffic, eventually arriving in Mudgee for dinner at around 8:15. After a quick dinner in town, we made the last bit of our journey to our hotel in Dubbo. There's not a lot to do in Dubbo, really - so let's just skip ahead to the fun part.

Rising the following morning, we headed straight for the zoo, excited to get the weekend properly started. After checking in at the front gate, we were given our bike rental slips, and a stack of pamphlets outlining the activities of the day. Stuffing them in various purses, pockets, and satchels, we went to pick up our bikes.

Somehow they looked a lot bigger in the pictures.

Other options available for seeing the zoo included in your own car, on foot, or by renting electric carts. We couldn't help but notice that most of the carts cruising around the zoo seemed to be occupied by people who could have benefited from some discretionary decision-making on behalf of the vehicle rental counter staff.

"I'm sorry, we're all out of carts today."

"But what about those over there?"

"Broken."

"But this one is clearly running."

"Reserved."

"How could they possibly be res-..."

"Look, just get on a bike, butterball."

I could probably write a book on the quickest non-murder-y way to get fired from any job. But that's for another day.

After a bit of time spent by Alex remembering that riding a bike is 'just like riding a bike,' we were off.

Photographic evidence that everyone looks

totally awesome in bike helmets.

We had arranged to go feed giraffes shortly after arriving, and proceeded to check out a few of the nearby animals before heading to the giraffe paddock.

The first stop? Black rhinos!

Shortly thereafter, the dromedary camels,
and a little bird along for the ride.

By this time, we had biked around long enough that we needed to head over to the giraffes for our morning feeding. The day was stunning, and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. I was a bit concerned at the structural integrity of my bike, but soldiered on regardless. The zoo was also blessedly crowd-free. It had been explained to us at one point that while the Taronga Zoo receives about 2 million visitors each year, the Western Plains Zoo only receives about 200,000. As such, it relies on a lot of revenue support from the more prosperous zoo to continue functioning. Ah, here we are at the giraffes.

Spring had only recently sprung, and there were

still quite a few baby animals around the zoo,

not the least of which was this baby giraffe.

One of the earliest animal facts I can recall
learning was that giraffes have purple tongues.

Good to know it's still true.

'Scuse me...pardon me...'scuse me...just
lemme in...can almost...there we go.

*munch munch munch*

*sigh* Every damn time I drop my car keys...

Picture of my favorite animal with her
favorite animal.

A long day of standing around eating leaves can
really wear you out.

I see you.

"OK, nobody move! I just lost a contact lens.
Nobod-...Mitch! What did I just say?! Don't

move! It's gotta be around here somewhere..."

As the keeper approached with the carrots, the
giraffes all began to gather in one place. It was like

a much larger, much more intimidating remake of

The Birds.

The look of giddy excitement on Alex's face says
it all.

I wear my sunglasses at night. And when feeding
giraffes.

Alex made the mistake at one point of alerting me
to the fact that her dad makes a habit of taking

pictures of her mom coming out of the restroom.

Naturally, I was a perfect gentleman and the thought

didn't even cross my mind.

Having just watched Rise of the Planet of
the Apes, I can help but feel like the green in
his eyes denotes some sort of higher intelligence.

What do you get when you cross a rhinoceros
and an elephant? Elephino.

There's nothing funny about turtles.

A superb fairy wren - during breeding season, half
the male population develops these bright colors,

while the other half retains their normal tan color.

Getting up-close and personal with the great
spectacled burrowing elephant.

This guy was bucking like crazy - had to use the
Sport mode on my camera to capture this one.

Elephants always look so happy when they're eating.

I've exhausted my supply of elephant / rhino jokes.
Sorry.

A tiger doing what cats do best: sitting around and
being absolutely useless.

Alex doing what Alex does best: frolicking.

Vintage Alex doing her best Jetstar pose.

The siamang gibbon, somehow immune to the
gravity that plagues the rest of us.

And prone to recreating that famous Bigfoot
photo.

You otter know that it's bigger than you are.

Wait a second, this isn't Christmas. (author's
note: also, not actually a reindeer)

Couldn't have asked for a better day, weather-
wise, nor company-wise.

2 for 2. My amusement level was rising.
Hers was not.

You'd look like this too if you were a
water buffalo without water.

Reason #924 why big cats are the same as small
cats.

"There's got to be a quacker commute than this.
Maybe if I had something to reed. Dammit, I

should really be writing these down. I wish I

had hands."

It was actually a really nice day, but a bit of black
and white can make anything look a bit foreboding.

Taking pictures of the Przewalski's horses. I don't
know why people don't wear bike helmets very

often - they look amazing.

Przewalski's horse - pronounced 'sheh-VAL-ski.'
And 'HORS.' Yeah, I don't get it either.

A scruffy buffalo (scruffalo?) in the middle
of a bit of shedding.

Naturally, they had an Australian outback
exhibit, where all manner of native creatures

were running around. Not surprisingly, likely

due to being terrified by free-roaming children,

most of the animals shied away from us.

Taken a fraction of a second before this
little one hopped to the most remote corner

of the enclosure.

I can only assume that this one had given up on life,
or that Alex has some manner of magical powers.

With newfound vitality, it leaped from its
former place of rest, and bounded across the

meadow.

I think we followed this same one around the
enclosure since it was the least apprehensive

about us getting close to it.

This ostrich was following me back and forth
along the fence, and staring me down in what

was either a territorial display, or a courtship

ritual.

Not captured in the above still photo:
flirtatious batting of eyelashes.

Next up on the bicycle tour: zebras!
This is pretty much all they did.

On the plus side, there was a baby zebra.
But it was doing the same thing as well.

Watch...as the Great Helmeted Alex silently
stalks her prey.

Did I mention it was an amazing day?
Because it was.

These sacred ibises (ibii?) are all over Sydney.
They look like feathered dinosaurs, or something

equally prehistoric. I think I've found their nest. I

felt a bit like Ripley wandering into the middle of

the queen's egg chamber in Aliens.

A happy cockatoo. Well, presumably happy.
For all I know he could be miserable, having

just suffered through a messy cockatoo divorce.

A pair of purple swamphen, which I think look
a bit prehistoric as well. Almost like a Gastornis.

This lake had me feeling a bit...reflective.

Ah, finally - the one animal that can't run away.

"Do you have a cold?" "No, we are allergic to
youth."

After much, much coaxing, Alex finally opted
to pet the tortoise. It then moved its head slightly

and she jumped back 15 feet. I was very impressed

by the distance of her leap.

"Die? Now that, at least, would be something."

Lemurs doing what lemurs do best: laze.

Probably the most intense stare I've ever received
from a turtle. And let me tell you, I've received

a lot of intense turtle stares.

At this point in the afternoon, we were able to check into the Zoofari Lodge. For being nothing more than a canvas sheet stretched over a frame, the cabins were surprisingly nice, with more beds than we had people, and a bathroom included (because there's nothing like wandering through the dark at night when you have to pee).

The interior of the canvas tent / room thing where
we were staying at the Zoofari Lodge. Alex not

included. See participating stores for details.

We were in cabin Oryx, the most spry and least
spidery of all the cabins, which is a LIE BECAUSE

THERE WERE SPIDERS EVERYWHERE.

Our stay at the lodge also included a host of behind-the-scenes tours of the zoo into places the general public doesn't normally get to see, which was a huge plus.

Our first stop on the tour was the African Dogs.
They had amazing patterns in their fur.

It was meal time, and every single one of them
looked like this when the keeper held up a chunk

of raw meat. They were also making these sounds.

Eerie.

Once each individual had secured their own piece
of meat, they would run off and hide with it, where

they devoured it in seconds, bones and all.

Meerkatting: like dogpiling, except everyone sits
on the bottom person's head instead of just jumping

on them.

"Please, suh...can I have some more?"

I also learned that there is always a single
meerkat in the colony keeping watch for

predators and thrifty coupon deals.

A siamang gibbon - they actually keep them on
an island and move their food out them via a basket

and a pulley, due to the fact that they are so

dangerous.

Also kept on an island and fed using a basket
and pulley for similar reasons.

After the tour was over, we went back to the lodge for what ended up being a really delicious meal. I was delighted to discover that there was another night tour still to follow dinner. In hindsight, I probably should have chewed my food more, as I switched to great white shark eating mode out of excitement.

This was the zoo's take on nachos. While I'm not

entirely certain of sweet chili sauce's usage in

modern Mexican cuisine, the end result was still

very tasty.

Followed by delicious salmon. I tucked small bits of
this into my pocket for use in luring animals we might

see on the tour later.

Finishing dinner, we took a walk over to the animal paddock,
where some animals were grazing in the distance, warily

keeping their distance from a roving band of vicious

rabbits.

The next tour was due to begin after the sun went down,
so we enjoyed the setting sun before boarding the bus.

Our first stop was an elephant...doing elephant things.

Then is got dark all of a sudden and we were
attacked by this little echidna going all Super

Saiyan. Or the keeper was shining a light on him,

my memory's a little hazy.

We saw a few other animals that evening, one of which was the feeding of a tiger, which was really great to see. Being a staunch follower of rules and respecter of animals, I wasn't able to get any night photos, so you'll just have to take my word that it was awesome.

The following morning, we had our final behind-the-scenes tour, which involved feeding a giraffe. Again. Not complaining, mind you.

Alex doing what she does best: reaching
really tall things.

Now, when it came time for my turn, the keeper had instructed us not to attempt to pet the giraffe, because of the whole 'not used to having things near their heads' thing. So I sauntered up, held the carrot as suggested, and smiled toward the camera. The next thing I know, my hand is being nuzzled by a giraffe nose. Technically I didn't pet it, but I think it knew I wanted to.

Smiling, because I'm getting away with it.

"Please, suh...may I have some more?"
Thinking this line a bit suspicious, I pulled away
the giraffe disguise to find a mob of meerkats
stacked on one anothers' shoulders. As they ran back
into the confines of the zoo, one of them shook a tiny
paw at me and exclaimed how they would have
gotten away with it too if it weren't for those
meddling kids.

We then moved along to the lioness pen - the male(s)
were on display at the time, but the females were

at least up and about.

All of that caging is unnecessary, really -
I've said it before, but all cats are exactly the

same regardless of size. They just want to give

you cuddles. Or ignore you.

See? Same with this one, proudly displaying its
'I'm-going-to-completely-ignore-you-unless-I-need-

something-from-you' face.

Close-up of a rhino's eye - almost looks like cracked
desert clay around it. So cool.

Same rhino, just...more of it.

We also got to stop by an elephant toward the
end of the tour. It was clearly overjoyed to

see us all.

That just about wraps up our visit to Dubbo. We took an alternate route home through Orange to the south, which was predominantly countryside, but had some...well, interesting surprises in store for us nonetheless.

Out here, you can see forever. Well, whatever
isn't obscured by hills, clouds, plants...

I particularly liked this tree because it reminded
me of the movie poster for Big Fish.

You may have noticed (or you mightn't have), that there is a bicycle in the above tree. This was something we noticed as we drove along the road, as it was replicated in many trees for several miles. The first one was amusing, the second, an eerie coincidence, the third, a bit odd, and by the fourth one, it started to feel a bit like the creepy stick dolls hanging from the trees in the Blair Witch Project.