Wollongong, or, It's My Party and I'll Drive If I Want To

Last year for my birthday, I decided I'd stay local, but still wanted to do something fun / novel. Racking my brain, I finally came up with the idea of renting an exotic car and driving down the Grand Pacific Drive toward Wollongong, a lovely little city where a few of my friends were from.

It was the perfect crime.

The getaway vehicle? A Lotus Elise Club Sport. My partner in crime? One Deanna Marshall.

We met early one Saturday morning to pick up the car. The heist was simple - head south, hit the twisty roads, enjoy the scenery, and meet Angela and Belinda for lunch at a pub. Afterward, we'd see some beaches, meet up with Josh and his brother-in-law to catch a movie, and I'd stay the night at Angela's parents' house (which she was kind enough to offer), followed by a delicious big breakfast the following morning. It all sounded pretty good.

Oh yeah.

So we set off, stopping only once a short while into our trip for some mutually agreed-upon chicken McNuggets (I did my best not to judge that she prefers them without sauce). Hunger temporarily sated and the car smelling delightfully of fried chicken and sweet & sour sauce, we continued on.

I'll be the first to admit that while I absolutely love driving, I despise driving in Sydney. The good news is, once you get ~10 or 15 minutes away from the CBD, the roads open up, traffic thins, and if you're heading south, things get really exciting.

You can take either the main highway south, a pleasant swath of road that dawdles along inland, or you can cut east out to the coast and be presented with a twisty mess of winding roads that snake through the Royal National Park all the way to Wollongong, including the scenic Sea Bridge just north of the city. We followed the main road for a little bit before heading out toward the coast.

If you're not familiar with the car I'm driving, allow me to explain. Lotus has always made a non-traditional exotic. Instead of focusing on making a bigger, louder, more powerful car, they opted for a different strategy: make the car lighter. By taking out things like carpeting, part of the roof, navigation, and other creature comforts, you end up with a car that weighs less than a ton. Couple this with a small-yet-bitey engine and you have yourself one hell of a go-kart. With its small size and low center of gravity, you can whip it around a hairpin and it stays planted the entire time. It was everything I could do to get the rear tires to break loose around the corners.

To the best of my recollection, Deanna was fine with this.

Oh, and I suppose it's worth mentioning that the engine is right behind your head - and turns into a cacophony of bellows and screams and other goosebump-inducing noises as the tachometer climbs toward the redline.

All in all, it was an absolute joy to drive.

Stunning coastal view from the Sea Bridge just

north of Wollongong.

Though I didn't know why, people had decided

to clip hundreds of padlocks and combination

locks to the guard rail along the road. Perhaps

someone who was overzealous in their concern

for someone running off with it?

A long drop down to the crashing waves below

the road.

Deanna enjoys the scenery - or perhaps is just

welcoming an opportunity to be out of the

little yellow sardine can.

Which brings me to the next topic of discussion: the practicality of the Lotus. Or in hindsight, the complete lack thereof. This first became evident to me when trying to get into the car. Once you're actually seated, it's actually quite spacious and comfortable, or as comfortable as a car with plastic seats can be. It's the getting in that's the tricky part. It goes a bit like this:

1) Open door. Easy enough.

2) Stick left leg into right wheel well and slide it across toward left wheel well. You should now be straddling the carbon fiber door still inches above the ground.

3) Steady yourself with your right hand or elbow on the pavement.

4) Neatly fold yourself in half at the midsection, ensuring your head is well past your knees.

5) Using gravity as a guide, fall clumsily into the driver's seat, ensuring that your left leg slides awkwardly out the left side of the car, and your right leg is wedged firmly between the door frame and the door itself, above the hinges if possible.

6) Dislocate both your right hip socket and right knee and gently bring your other leg into the car.

Congratulations! You are now ready to drive.

The best part was when we stopped by Deanna's parents' house, and I got to attempt this with an audience. I will say that removing the bit of cloth that makes up the roof makes this a little easier.

Pristine driving goodness.

We stopped for lunch at the Scarborough Pub, my new favorite venue along the drive south. It's located along the cliffside and boasts an amazing back lawn area with lots of tables and umbrellas, as well as a view that can't be matched. My teammate Ashleigh and her husband Paul would also be in the area, so it was one big get-together, with six of us in total.

The Scarborough Pub green. It was an amazing

day, considering it was late winter...

Far too much food. I think in the end we barely

touched the dip platter on the right. Angela

and Belinda prepare to dig in.

After lunch, Ash and Paul had to head back up north, but the rest of us went to explore the area a little bit. I hadn't really seen much of Wollongong, and everyone else had grown up there, so they really were the best tour guides I could have asked for.

On Bulli Beach - pronounced 'bull-eye,' I found

that continuously pronouncing it 'bull-ee' was

sufficient to ruffle Angela's feathers. Naturally,

I kept doing it.

A little dog has the time of his life on the beach.

Loads of people brought their puppies for a

little romp.

Angela, Deanna, and Belinda. Charlie's Angels

pose - you're doing it wrong.

Those of you who know me well are aware of

my not-so-mild infatuation with big dogs. There

was an elderly gentleman on the beach who had

the most incredible Irish wolfhound.

So naturally, I made my way over to have a proper

creep. Er, pet.

A lone surfer out on the blue.

Deanna goes for a bit of a wander...

Wait, hang on - just had to make sure it was ok.

The girls took turns riding with me to

our various destinations.

The view from Bald Hill looking south.

That evening, we met up with John and Todd for the film, and after staying the night at Angela's parents' place, we went out for a deliciously gluttonous breakfast in the morning, before I took a solo drive back up north to Sydney.

I think this is the start of a beautiful tradition.