SF Auto Show 2009

I was fortunate enough to be home for Thanksgiving this year, which - coincidentally - is the time of year when the joyous rumble of V10s and the sweet scent of turtle wax draw crowds from the Bay Area for miles around. Every year, my dad and I make a tradition of heading up to the city, staring both wistfully and lustfully at the many exotic cars, and then having the best damn burger and milkshake you'll ever have. I've lost track of how many years we've been doing it, but I'd wager close to 10.

Anyway, this year's show definitely did not disappoint.

Starting off, we have the Cadillac Converj concept.

Let's hope the name is conceptual as well, because

it is just ridiculous (just spell things properly,

people). Despite looking rather spaceship-y, this

is an all-electric soggy muffin with a piddling

amount of horsepower.

Another new entry into the 'well, we probably

shouldn't but let's do it anyway' segment is the

Lotus Evora. It's admittedly a sweet car, and

is a surprising departure from Lotus coupes

of the past in the sense that it's a 2+2,

meaning there is room in the back for two

people without legs or one person lying on

their side.

While I have no doubt that the smooth-as-silk

leather and teak deck finish in the back are oh-

so-nice, I just have no interest in driving

something that would automatically qualify

me for a boat license (having driven the

tugboat-on-wheels Chrysler 300, I can't

even fathom driving something that weighs

precisely 1 ton more).

I don't know much about this car, to be honest.

I believe it's made by someone called SV and

has a tuned Corvette engine in it.

NOW we're talking - the Aston Martin DBS,

one of the most beautiful cars to grace the

asphalt. I have never been built up and then

dealt a crushing blow as I was when this car

was featured in Casino Royale.

Porsche had their brand-new 4-door on display

- the Panamera. I'm surprised they had it open

for people to sit in, since most of their cars are

usually locked up tight. Maybe sales are slow...

it does look like someone sat on it.

While I have never been a huge fan of Cadillacs,

you've got to hand it to them for creating the

fastest production saloon in existence at the

moment (specifically, the CTS-V).

True beauty - the Audi R8 V8. Such a thing

of beauty, this one.

Annnnnd then there's this. I'm not even certain

what this was at one point, but you would have

to be obsessive-compulsive to keep it looking

like this (no offense intended to the sufferers of

OCD out there).

And just for humor's sake, we have the Zeppelin.

At one point it was some huge ugly monstrosity,

now transformed into a huge ugly pearlescent

monstrosity.

And now for something slightly more attainable:

the Audi S4. Subdued yet aggressive. Harsh

yet refined. Something yet something. Such a

fantastic car.

But Carson, you ask, why are we coming back

to the R8? Because this is no ordinary V8

supercar. Audi has released a new engine for

this jaw-droppingly-gorgeous machine: a V10.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah...

Baby got...rear diffusers...and check out

those massive oval tailpipes! Just like on the

outgoing RS models...so good.

The new(-ish) speedy saloon from Lexus, the

IS-F. Rather unique are the stacked tailpipes.

I looooooove old cars like this with the long

curving fenders (Morgan still makes modern

cars like this styled after the brilliant cars of

the early 1900s).

Another fantastic old car - the 1938 Talbot

Lago T120 Roadster.

Another amazing piece of history - the Bugatti

Type 57. Hard to believe that the company

that was making those is now making these.

I sadly can't recall the make of this one, but

would have loved to have driven on back in

its day. Just look at the hoses coming out

the side - they're like veins.

Vrooooooom...

Fiji, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Ridiculously-Small Planes

Well, it was only a matter of time. 4 hours away and with some of the best diving in the world, Fiji had been calling to me since my arrival in Australia. Thanks to some deal-watching by my teammate Anna, the two of us decided to head over on a 5-day trip to see what the tiny islands had to offer.

Our first stop was the Radisson on the main island of Viti Levu, near Port Denarau. We flew into the Nadi airport and were greeted by 4 Fijian natives playing slightly-out-of-tune acoustic guitars, welcoming us to the country. We were helped into a cab and made our way to the hotel.

Sunset on the first evening from our room.

Some live acoustic music in the main hall.

After a while, he began to play some more

well-known staples like Hotel California.

After settling in the first evening, we made plans what to do the next day (since we really hadn't planned anything at this point). We decided on a day cruise that would take us out through the Mamanuca chain of islands, and stopping on Monuriki Island, the filming location for the movie Castaway. Being a movie fanatic, this was like going to Disneyland for me, only without the massive legions of tourists.

Leaving Port Denarau for the Mamanucas.

The water around the resort, sadly, was less-

than-ideal for diving. The shore was covered

in mangrove trees, making the water murky.

Once we got away from the shore, however,

the water became a much brighter blue.

The flag of Fiji. Good stuff.

The chain of the Mamanucas is filled with many

day trip islands - you basically get dropped off

for the day, fed, and are free to hang out on the

beach, swim, etc.

Thank you, Anna, for emphasizing my glowing

skin.

The weather was gorgeous the entire time.

Warm, barely any clouds, and tons of sun.

On the way out, we sailed by many shallow

reefs. They had to tie me down so I wouldn't

jump out of the boat.

Another one of the many day trip islands.

Most of them had little huts built on them

for ease of lounging.

We reached our first stopping point, Mana

Island. Here, we would disembark to transfer

onto a new ship. Shame - it looked like a nice

place.

Seaspray - the ship that would take us out

for the rest of the day.

Not surprisingly, we were greeted by more

Fijians with slightly-out-of-tune guitars.

A final glance at the ship that had brought us

this far.

Argh...the water was just teasing me now.

Crystal clear with fish swimming by.

All aboard the Seaspray! The guy with

the blue shorts is standing in my spot.

Once he moved, I took my roost at the front

as we sailed through the blue.

The water was an incredible cobalt blue - I don't

think I had seen anything like it.

After a few hours, we finally arrive at Monuriki

Island, the filming location of Castaway.

You'll have to excuse the dearth of photos from the island - they gave us the option to either take a small boat to the island or jump off the boat where we were moored and snorkel in (having to leave my camera on the boat). The guide was barely through the word 'snorkel' when I hit the water with a splash. As expected, it was crystal clear, and I took the opportunity to free dive down to about 30'. There was an amazing array of fish (many of which were those found up north in the GBR), and I saw my first crown of thorns starfish, a rather venomous critter that has a voracious appetite for coral reefs. I splashed around in the warm water for a little while before making my way onto the island.

Looking around, it was surreal. I could see where the packages washed up, where Tom Hanks had found the dead plane pilot, and someone had lovingly spelled out HELP on the beach with some palm fronds. Wandering further onto the island, I managed to find an unopened coconut. Wanting to prove my mettle, I found a large, sharp rock, and proceeded to smash the coconut against it. About 10 minutes later, arms just short of falling off, I was rewarded with a gratifying crack as I broke through the husk and the shell (spilling the milk all over the place in the process). No matter - I just wanted the meat anyway. I spent the rest of the time walking around grinning stupidly, taking big bites out of the inside of the coconut. It tasted amazing. Life is good. But like life, sometimes you get shards of coconut shell in a few bites.

We then headed (I swam) back to the boat for lunch - grilled chicken, sausages, and snapper, with an array of sides. It tasted amazing, and I was stuffed when we made our way onto our next destination - an isolated Fijian village in the Mamanucas. Waddling off the boat (I had eaten enough buttered rolls to feed a small continent), we waded to shore and onto the island. We would be participating in a kava ceremony with the local villagers, a tradition embedded in Fijian culture since the beginning meant to officially welcome visitors into the community. Kava is the dried and powdered root of a local pepper plant, which is then mixed with water. The taste is pretty much what you would expect from such a combination: a bit like muddy water. It also has the additional effect of being a mild narcotic, so it makes you a bit sleepy. It also makes your mouth numb. Nothing like meeting someone for the first time and having your tongue lolling out of your mouth like a dog on a hot day.

The shore of the island. The sea moss resulted

in icky toes. Yuck.

This dog came and visited while we waited to

be invited into the town center.

One of the many houses located on the

island, thrown together from a plethora

of different materials.

More house detail.

The village chief overseeing the ceremony.

The sun is a cruel mistress - he is 23 years

old.

The process of taking kava is this:

1) Clap once and shout bula (hello)

2) Take bowl of kava and down in one sip

3) Clap 3 times and shout venaka (thank you)

4) Zzzzzzzz...

Anna tries kava.

Anna is not a fan of kava.

I dunno - maybe the plants are meant to give you

the illusion that you are walking through fire

anytime you go through the doorway?

The men in Fiji wear these skirt things. They

are all also roughly twice my size, so I wasn't

about to do so much as crack a smile about it.

They had a mini assembly line going on - this guy

was scraping the coconut meat into a tub. The

shells were then made into kava bowls.

These two then took the coconut meat and

packed it together into what I can only assume

was coconut Play-Doh or something.

After purchasing assorted knick-knacks, we

boarded Seaspray one last time and headed

back to the main island. I took a nap and when

I awoke, was met with an amazing sky.

The following day, Anna and I decided to split off and each do our own thing. She had come for sun and surf, and after catching a glimpse of a pamphlet at the front desk, I realized what it was for which I had come: the Fiji Zoo. Yes, even in on an island nation of roughly 850,000 people, I was able to find that which I adored finding on my travels. Though, given this number, I really tried to set expectations for myself, but the bright tropical bird on the cover of the brochure whispered to me 'Get excited, Carson. It will be amazing.' I suppose in hindsight it was a bit unexpected of me to hurl a whispering bird brochure back over the counter, but you can't really be held accountable for your actions in these sorts of situations.

Anyway, the journey was about 90 minutes or so in each direction, and would circle south through Nadi (one of the larger cities) and snake along the Coral Coast, which covered most of the southern portion of the island. I hopped in my taxi (which appeared to be held together by nothing more than a load-bearing bit of twine) and we were on our way...

...almost. My driver had to pick up his wife first and drop her off in town. So we did. She was pleasant.

Then we were on our way. Let me preface this next bit by saying the drive out there was beautiful. It was a sunny day, not too warm, and we just cruised down nearly-deserted roads with the windows down.

There was a rather colorful Hindu temple in

Nadi as we hit the center of town.

Much of the land is used for growing sugar cane.

Pretty sweet industry, if you ask me.

A truck loaded with cut sugar cane. When we

arrived on the island by plane, the sky was

filled with smoke as a result of burning the cane

before / after harvesting to reduce leaf matter.

Papaya trees! I had never seen them before.

Wicked.

Another prominent religion in the country, we

also drove by a Muslim temple.

Driving over a river that, according to my driver,

flooded not too long ago, displacing many

people along its banks.

At long last, after driving through enough sugar cane to make even my teeth hurt, we arrived at the zoo. I would like to preface this next series of photos by saying that, while this isn't necessarily the best zoo I've seen, it is most definitely not the worst (Hyderabad, I'm looking at you and your Geocities c. 1996 website...). That being said, this is actually a pretty great zoo. The only real gripe is that it is small, but it does contain a lot of local Fijian wildlife, and I still managed to spend 2 hours there while my driver kindly slept in the car.

The zoo, at first glance, didn't particularly look like a zoo - it was essentially a gate that disappeared into a wad of thick foliage on the side of a large hill. I made a mental note that this was not such a bad idea, and planned on setting up a mundane gate to let people into some uncharted wilderness back home and call it a zoo.

My hopes of swindling the uninformed were dashed when I discovered that there was actually some semblance of structure through the gates (more than just a semblance, really - an elaborate infrastructure of climbing pathways, cages, and gazebos). After paying a reasonable fee, I wandered into the main courtyard where there were a series of small cages and terrariums sitting along the perimeter. No sooner had I taken a few steps than a large lizard was thrust in my face accompanied by the cheerful query 'would you like to hold it?' Of course I would.

Oh yeah - you'd grin like a fool too if you were

covered in banded and crested iguanas.

Iguana is the new black.

Staring contest. I lost.

Admittedly not the largest snake I've held, but

still cool nonetheless. Laugh and I will throw it

at you.

I also got to hand-feed a hawksbill turtle little

pieces of fish. Well, by 'hand-feed' I mean

'threw bits of fish in the water lest I get my

fingers bitten off in a spectacular display of

gore and flying digits.'

A barn owl. I have wanted one ever since I

saw the movie Labyrinth. I have also wanted

my own David Bowie.

Ok, I swear I did nothing to antagonize this

bird - it just wanted to kill me for no reason.

Ok, this one I may have antagonized.

(I didn't).

Half of the zoo snaked along through these

wooden walkways hidden in the trees.

Little-known fact: The neck of a cockatoo

can support up to 17 tons of weight. This is

just how they sleep.

An Indian ringneck parakeet showing

off for the camera with a little balancing

act.

A red-breasted musk parrot.

A slightly larger crested iguana than the one

I was holding earlier. My memory is a little

hazy, but I believe this one was big enough

to crush a 3-bedroom home.

A collared lory - a better name, I suppose, than

calling it a toupee'd lory.

I don't know about you, but I didn't know that

peacocks hung out in trees.

A sweet lily pad pond.

Plant? Flower? Venomous camouflaged

creature? Not about to find out.

I wandered toward the back of the zoo

and there was no one there. In all fairness,

there wasn't a whole lot back there other

than this really cool tree.

See those spiky things? Those are pineapples.

I learned a ton at this zoo - for whatever

reason I've never really thought about it.

Y'know, just a couple of lizards hanging

out on a tree. Ain't no thang.

Like I said - had the zoo nearly to myself.

Ran around like a madman.

...and bounced across the rope bridge

like a fool.

We now return to your regularly-scheduled

angry bird programming.

It was finally time to leave the zoo, and after stopping for a quick snack (I was starving), my driver took me along the original road that used to connect Nadi and Suva. This one was a bit closer to the water, and as a result, I was able to see where the Coral Coast received its name.

We stopped along a beach where the water was

clear, blue and shallow, all the way out to

the reef for which the coast is named.

Looking out from the beach toward the

reef. Were I dressed for the occasion, I

would have gone splashing out into the

blue.

We also went by Natadola beach, rated by some

as one of the top ten beaches in the world.

Apparently the bit of twine holding the car together

didn't quite work. We had to pull over on the way

back to add more water to a leaking radiator.

After a few days in Port Denarau, Anna and I both decided it was a bit too touristy and full of kids, so we packed up our items and hopped on a series of planes to the smaller eastern island of Taveuni (perhaps not-so-coincidentally where the fabled Rainbow Reef is located). The difference was night and day.

The confoundingly-small Nadi airport.

Novel item #1 - our plane. I have been traveling

all my life, but for whatever reason, planes with

propellers still make me uneasy.

Novel item#2 - handwritten boarding pass. The

best part? They accidentally gave me an extra

blank one. I could have gone ANYWHERE...

...in Fiji.

Fiji is a lot more mountainous from the air.

We landed in Suva to switch to a different plane.

But not before collecting our bags from the

world's most adorable baggage claim.

More good news: If you have a tight connection

to make, the gates aren't too far apart.

Our flight from Suva to Taveuni was on an even

smaller plane - image not to scale; plane was

actually small enough to fit in my pocket.

View of the cockpit from my seat (which was

roughly the size of an armrest on a typical

commercial plane). Hello, pilot.

I would just like to point out the flight safety

card that was 1) printed of someone's home

printer a few minutes before the flight, and

2) woefully misleading in terms of the amount

of space between seats.

A small heart-shaped island in the water shortly

after departing Suva.

The amazing turquoise of the reef as we approach

Taveuni.

Once again I had to be restrained, lest I jump

out of the plane to do some diving.

Just landed at the Taveuni airport. Unlike the

previous terminal, this one didn't even have a

baggage claim area - they just brought it directly

from the plane to the waiting area (it would be

generous to call it a gate, although we did arrive

at gate 4 - I wondered where the other 3 gates

were).

Our ride to the hotel. When I asked the driver

if he could turn it down a bit, he assumed I was

talking about the radio. I meant the upholstery.

Taveuni felt much more tropical and untamed

than Viti Levu. And it was even greener.

The view from our room at the resort. Just ten

minutes that way...*points*...by boat and you're

over the Rainbow Reef.

Me getting into the island mood...

...reluctantly.

Ok, this I can do...mmm...coconut...

I'd like to take a quick break now to talk about diving. In my excitement, I must have had a complete brain aneurysm out of excitement because I managed to forget not only my diver cert cards, but my underwater camera as well. I had to call my dive shop back in Sydney to get them to look up my cert #. One crisis averted. It still didn't change the fact that I didn't have my camera. At any rate, we took a boat just across the water in the above picture to the reef. There were a couple of sites that the divemaster recommended based on conditions that day: the first was a coral bommie (essentially a massive coral pillar in a current), and the second was called the Cabbage Patch (named as such because of the cabbage coral covering the ocean floor). Both sites were amazing and positively teeming with life. The bommie, sitting in a current, provided a continuous flow of nutrients, thus attracting massive amounts of fish of all different species. Much of it was similar to what I had seen in the Great Barrier Reef. The visibility, also worth noting, was upwards of 150' or so. Absolutely crystal clear water. After a couple of fantastic dives, we headed back into shore and relaxed for the evening after a traditional Fijian fish dinner.

They dial 911 in Fiji too if there is an emergency,

or if shawty fire burnin' on the dance floor...

...whoa.

Most of the pay phones had these spear-looking

things on them. I wasn't quite sure of their

purpose (possibly to defend in the unlikely

event of an attack while on the phone), but I

was - with some effort - able to rest my arms

through them.

The main thoroughfare in Taveuni.

Fortunately all of our fish steak and coconut oil

needs were catered to.

The sign found on the womens' restroom in

the lobby of the hotel.

And the mens'...

One final shot of the water before heading back

home to Sydney.