Tokyo, or, [0][5][8] Days Without a Godzilla-related Incident

It was a cold, grey morning as my plane landed in Tokyo. Japan had been on my travel list for years, and now it was a work assignment that was making (a portion of) it come to fruition. Initially, I wasn't quite certain what to expect - I had done my best to prepare by learning a handful of words and phrases that, to my best estimation, would come in handy during my time in the Land of the Rising Sun: 'thank you,' 'my name is Carson,' 'good morning,' 'good evening,' and the infinitely-useful 'my Japanese is very bad.'

On the train from the airport to Tokyo proper.

In terms of first impressions, Japan is an amazing country, and that was only emphasized the longer I was there. It is reasonably accessible to foreigners, incredibly service-oriented, and for all intents and purposes, safe and clean. Plus, you can't really look down on a country where you're a good head taller than everyone else. Well...you can look down...but not...nevermind.

After arriving and checking into my hotel, I did what any normal person would do - went to the Ueno Zoo (separate entry coming shortly). The trip took me through Ueno park, and gave me my first taste of the Tokyo subway system, as well as my not-exactly-first taste of daifuku, which is how play-doh probably tasted to us when we were younger (or at the very least, how we could have hoped it tasted). Daifuku is essentially a gooey rice paste stuffed with sweetened bean paste / other deliciousness. If you're still, you can actually feel a massive glob of food mass working its way through your digestive system.

But I digest (ha)...back to the subway. It really is amazing. Runs on time every time. Plus, they have a handy screen that displays the entire route, as well as the amount of time to the next 20+ stops. Also, it's in English. Since my Japanese is a bit rusty / nonexistent, I found this useful.

Ueno Park stretched on for quite some distance.

I was mainly concerned with the zoo portion.

This, good readers, is fair warning that my level

of political incorrectness for the remainder of this

post will be nothing short of impertinent.

With my subway wonder piqued and an insurmountable mass of rice working its way through my upper digestive system with the promptness of a snail on a frictionless surface, I stopped one station short of my hotel station (Shinjuku), to visit Harajuku. Its reputation preceding it, I had expectations of most of its inhabitants wandering around dressed in nurse outfits, frilly skirts, and any other manner of wardrobe-related ludicrousness. While that was not entirely true, it wasn't entirely untrue either.

The brightly-colored clothes in the windows only

hinted at the level of ridiculousness ahead.

The main thoroughfare of Harajuku. By this point,

I was half-expecting to see someone with a

rabbit head.

WHAT ARE THE FREAKING ODDS?!

By this point in my journey, my pockets were

positively replete with mallards, so naturally

I was thankful to have stumbled upon this venue.

There were plenty of interesting sights to see along

the street, but oddly enough, I wasn't one of them.

People not only ignored the giant white guy, they

seemed to go out of their ways to not look at him.

I enjoyed the anonymity. So much so, that I walked

the remainder of the street in the nude, just to see

if anyone would notice. They didn't.

"And that, Consulate General, is why I did what I

did. You have my sincere apology."

Having braved the crowds, I dressed once more

and made my way back toward my hotel.

As I walked along my street, I did a bit of a double-take at one point next to an intersection. It looked oddly familiar. Suddenly, it clicked. Hopping up to get a better vantage point, I watched and waited.

Cars rushed by as pedestrians gathered along the

edges of the streets. Suddenly, the traffic stopped...

Like someone had shouted 'free puppies who vomit

money,' people seemed to come out of nowhere and

the formerly empty-looking intersection was

inundated with people.

I went back to my room to relax in the evening, as I had a day trip coming up the following morning. Sprawled out on the bed, eying the conspicuous protrusion from my stomach from the daifuku, I thought to myself just how enamored I was with this country after being here for just 6 hours.

The view from my ro-...DAMMIT. Ok, someone

reset the counter...

At night, the skyline was aglow with the lights

of the city, but alas, no Pokemon were to be

seen.

You have to wonder if Tommy Lee Jones knows

that his portrait from MIB is being used to sell

drinks over here.

Waking up with the sun, the ball of gelatinous rice still unaffected, despite the best efforts of my stomach, I quickly cleaned up and started my journey out to Nikko, a small city several hours north of Tokyo by train. The cold stung my exposed face and ears, and rain ensured even my underwear could join in the winter festivities. I was a bit concerned that it would be a damp day (not that that's ever stopped me before), but pressed on regardless.

Nikko, as I mentioned, is located in some lower foothills a bit north of Tokyo. Its main draw is the wealth of history, as well as incredible shrines and temples. Other than that, there probably isn't really any pressing reason to go there, but having seen it, I can say that it is not something to be missed.

And so began my adventure.

The train station was cold, wet, and empty. The

solitude reminded me that I should probably have

some breakfast before I left.

Having watched a handful of Japanese cartoons,

I had a pretty good sense for what people ate. I

chose a rather innocuous-looking triangle, which

I took to be rice wrapped in nori.

Cautiously, I took a bite.

To my surprise and slight dismay, the simplicity

of rice and seaweed was marred by what I can

only describe as tangy fish.

The kind of look you can only get by eating

tangy fish. I was determined to get the taste

out of my mouth, so I continued my pilgrimage

for food.

Being even more cautious, I chose a bottle of

water and a fluffy pastry-looking thing.

Thwarted again, my delicious fluffy pastry seemed

to be filled with what looked like an egg and ham

scramble, but what tasted like tangy fish. I decided

I wasn't going to eat anything else for the rest of the

trip. Besides, the ball of rice in my stomach would

last me a while anyway.

The train ride was comfortable, and lasted a couple of hours. It took me through some of the outlying suburbs of Tokyo, which was amazing, because even some of the shoddiest-looking houses has the most ornate Japanese tile roofs. It also took me through the Japanese countryside, which was a stark contrast to the metropolitan playground that was Tokyo.

Mist rolled down from the foothills as rain pelted

the windows of the train. 5 minutes before we

arrived in Nikko, something amazing happened.

The rain turned into snow.

It wasn't a lot of snow, but it steadily increased in volume during the course of the morning, and added a certain magical aspect to the landscape.

The central square of Nikko outside of the train

station. I had to wipe a layer of snow off of the

city map to the right.

Taking a meandering route to where I actually

wanted to go, I found some amazing scenes that

most might take for commonplace around here.

The very picturesque Shinkyo bridge. I believe

they were asking for ~$5 to cross it. As fun as that

sounds, I opted to walk the extra 15 seconds

around it.

One last toward downtown Nikko before venturing

into the unknown of the Nikko National Park. I say

'unknown,' because I didn't have a map.

What I believed were the stairs leading up into

the Nikko National Park. They were...kinda.

Ok, so 5 minutes into my walk I wound up

hopelessly lost and in front of what appeared to be

a school, but I was by myself and the scenery was

still beautiful.

There was even a nice little 3-story pagoda right

out in front of the school.

At long last, covered in pine needles and snow, I

broke through the undergrowth and out into a

parking lot.

The huge Rinno-ji temple and throngs of people told

me I must be in the right place. I bought a ticket that

covered the admission for all the sites in the park,

and began with a tranquil, snow-covered garden.

I walked a loop around the garden, and secretly

hoped a gravity-defying fight scene would break

out at some point.

Finished with the garden, and having walked

through the aforementioned temple (where they

sadly do not allow photos), I wandered off toward

my next destination.

One of several large torii leading to the Tosho-gu

shrine.

A slightly-more-impressive 5-story pagoda.

That's right, 3-story pagoda, hang your head

in shame. I'm done with you.

I know you were worried, so here's photographic

proof that I was still alive.

I passed by a herd of umbrellas in front of this

building, and took the picture thinking I would

come up with something humorous to say about

it later one. What I realized when I started looking

through my photos, was that they were standing in

front of the building which popularized the three

wise monkeys ('hear no evil, speak no evil, see no

evil'). Whoops.

Occasionally moving with the ebb and flow of the

crowds, but mostly tromping playfully through the

snow, I passed through the final torii before reaching

the Yomeimon Gate.

The Yomeimon Gate, one of the most lavishly-

decorated gates in all of Japan, leads to the

mausoleum of the shogun Tokugawa Ieyasu.

The gate is one of several items considered a

national treasure of Japan. One of the items

featured in this photo is not.

Just some of the detail of the carving on parts

of the gate.

Carved entirely of wood, the intricacy of some of

the designs was staggering.

A view from below, walking through the gate.

I FOUND THE HIDDEN DRAGON! Do I win a

prize?

Wandering from one shrine to the next, I stumbled

upon these. I wasn't sure if they were lanterns,

cheese, or sake. As it turns out, it was the latter.

The crowd seemed to thin out as the day went on,

owing slightly to the fact that is was cold as death

outside.

A large figure outside one of the shrines. His

intimidation factor goes completely out the

window once you realize his abdomen looks like

a jovial face.

The Japanese are great - they even build

little shrines to cover their wells.

Another karamon gate leading to what I believe

was the Futarasan Shrine.

The stairway provided a nice view into a somber

graveyard below.

Ok, to be honest, I've lost track of which shrine

this is. For the sake of this story, we'll call this

one the...Pikachu Shrine, which was built to honor

the great shogun Pikachu Tamagotchi.

Regardless of the function or who is buried

inside, some of these shrines are over 1200

years old.

This was actually a mausoleum - I didn't want to

hang around too long / touch anything, lest I fall

victim to some sort of 1000-year-old ancestral curse.

Again, this guy would be a bit more intimidating

if it weren't for the fact that he was wearing

adorable little booties and was FAAAABULOUS!

After a rather packed few hours, I found myself trudging through muddy puddles out to the main road. I still had a few hours left, and had exhausted my rather concise agenda. Thinking back, a few other things came to mind worth seeing in Nikko, specifically a large waterfall and two picturesque lakes. Looking at my watch, I didn't think I had enough time to make it out to see any of them. Instead, I began a meandering walk up what appeared to be a main street, following signs to a botanical garden. Reaching the entrance and realizing they were charging a fee to go in, I realized that it would be foolish, bordering on ridiculous, to pay money to see what would undoubtedly be acres of brown and flowerless plants (it was the middle of winter, after all). As I crossed the street to make my way back, a street sign caught my eye - Jakko Falls, 2 km. 2 km - that was nothing! I walk several times that to and from work each day. I cautiously eyed the single lane road twisting upward around a corner, set my jaw, and began my journey up.

My walk took me by several small hotels, what appeared to be a small and eerily-abandoned lumber yard, a residential zone, and finally up a steep hill deep into the forest. While it was unarguably amazing, 2 km has never felt so long.

Even if the falls ended up being anticlimactic, the

promise of carrot-toting rabbits kept my spirits

high. In hindsight, there were no rabbits, but I

did get barked at by several dogs.

A bit of civilization along the road.

A van in which I decidedly did not want to wake

up and find myself. Or did I...?

I had been walking for quite some time now,

and was beginning to loathe this 'road less-

traveled' business.

After walking for what felt like hours, I was only

halfway there. I'm fairly certain Japanese

kilometers are longer than normal kilometers.

By this point I began to assume that these

falls were far enough off the beaten path to

warrant driving to see them. I half-expected

to run into some wilderness explorers / a bear

out here.

At long last, I reached a snow-filled clearing. There were no steps in the snow other than those I had made myself, and the air was the stillest I had ever seen. The profound silence was only marred by the occasional clump of snow falling from the trees or the grumbling protests of my stomach as it battled relentlessly with the previous day's daifuku.

Past the snow, a time-worn torii stood guard at the

base of the stone steps.

I made a mental note to dress up as one of these

statues for Halloween next year, so people would

leave coins and snackies in my lap. Sacrilegious?

Possibly. Sacrilicious? Definitely.

One final uneven stone staircase stood between

me and the sound of thousands of gallons of

crashing water.

Witness the raw ferocity of nature...

Ok, so it wasn't the most impressive waterfall,

but it was still amazing, and the fear of impending

doom on the hike along the way kept things

interesting.

My desire to see a waterfall for the most part sated,

I began what was a much faster hike back down to

the main road again.

When I returned, something was different -

all the snow had melted and the sky was blue.

The sun shone on a completely different city.

How long had I been gone?! WHAT YEAR

WAS IT?!

The world had apparently shrunk in my absence...

...and there was a new nemesis: shifty-eyed deer.

I spotted a sign of civilization, but the moat

kept me at bay. As a side note, I was walking down

the street and a small boy stared at me from 50

feet away as I approached. When I was right next

to him, he exclaimed 'konichiwa!' I smiled and

returned the greeting.

The water had a bright jade glow to it with

the sun shining on it.

This is Carson Page. If you are reading this...

you are the resistance.

Returning to the city center, I noticed a long line

snaking around a corner. It must be said that I

have a bad habit of standing in long lines without

knowing what was at the end, which was precisely

what I did.

As I approached the front, it still didn't lend

much to my understanding. I held up 2 fingers

as I reached the cashier. Throwing two salted

fried things in a bag, she handed them to me and

took my change. Now to figure out what I had

just purchased.

Taking a generous bite, I was pleased to find out

that I had just purchased what had to have been

the greatest creation I had ever seen: deep-fried

daifuku. I paused mid-chew when I realized that

this would just compound with the preexisting

lump of it in my stomach, but shrugged it off

and happily finished off both.

I turned around and took one last glance at the

central square - it looked like a completely different

city.

Spotted this in the train station on the way back.

At least they are finally embracing it.

A few nights later that week, I went out the to the Roppongi district with a few of my regional teammates. Roppongi is a slightly more touristy section of Tokyo, with a lot of western restaurants, such as TGI Friday's. Additionally, it is home to the Tokyo Tower, modeled somewhat after the Eiffel Tower.

On the subway to Roppongi. Oddly enough, my

teammates relied on me to get me where we

needed to go.

The main road through the district. Note the

TGI Friday's on the left, as well as the Tokyo

Tower in the background.

The Hard Rock Cafe is actually becoming a bit

of a rarity - they've been closing quite a few

down recently, which is odd, considering I'm

sure there are a ton of people who wouldn't

mind paying $30 for a BLT...

At the base of the tower. While is doesn't

have the same sort of enchanting mystique as

the Eiffel Tower, it's still pretty amazing in its

own right.

One of my teammates, Woori, got really excited

when she saw this. Actually, that's not the right

word. She became frenetic. These were Tokyo

Bananas, which are essentially Twinkies filled

with a banana-flavored goo.

Naturally, we had to go up into the tower, which

appeared to be filled with teenagers admiring the

view.

A bridge in the background - you don't get a sense

for how big the city is until you see the lights

stretching out across the landscape at night.

Is it just me, or does this remind anyone else of

the city in Blade Runner? Has anyone else actually

seen Blade Runner? Never mind.

Oh come on - you know you'd do the exact

same thing too.

For our late-night dinner, we decided on the

delightfully-tacky Mexican Bar Los Cabos.

It wasn't so much a Mexican bar, as it was

a Mexican-themed bar.

Still, they made some mean nachos. Caesar salad

and risotto pictured in the background. We also

had buffalo wings from something roughly the size

of a finch, nasi goreng, and what I'll accept as the

local equivalent of a margarita.

We also played some darts before calling it

a night.

The next day at work, I found out we were being

treated to dinner at Gonpachi, the restaurant

where Tarantino had gotten his inspiration for the

Crazy 88 fight scene in Kill Bill.

The lighting was just right...FOR A FIGHT.

Sadly there wasn't one. I half-debated starting

one just for the sake of it.

The sunken central area. We were upstairs in a

small room we shared with a group of red-faced

drunken businessmen.

Dinner was absolutely spectacular - the food just

kept coming (prawn dumplings pictured here), and

it was all-you-could-drink. Granted, the sake was

a bit watered-down, but I just drank twice as much,

so no harm no foul.

Delicious grilled prawns. Funnily enough, 2 years

ago I would have called these shrimp. Or jumbo

shrimp. Or tasty pink munch skewers.

A full group photo, toward the end of the meal -

hence the plethora of huge smiles.

Dessert warrants a special mention, because it

was amazing. Vanilla ice cream, with mochi

squares, and a sauce that tasted like pure

molasses. SO good.

The following night, Yoshi - the HR Manager for Tokyo - took me and SH - the HR Manager for Seoul - out to his favorite local haunt for dinner. There, 4 days into my trip, I got my first taste of sushi in Japan (I had been generally surviving on ramen and other noodles for most of my meals there at this point). Several tall glasses of beer and carafes of sake later, we were having a grand old time.

SH leans over our delicious food platter.

Though I could recognize some of it, Yoshi

was kind enough to explain what everything

was on our platter.

A selection of seafood sashimi, including uni (sea

urchin), the orange gelatinous glob on the right.

Just so we didn't finish the second half of our meal

drinking only sake, we ordered a tuna sashimi

platter, with light tuna, fatty tuna, seared tuna,

and tuna hand rolls. Whoever looked at the

goofy looking critter swimming through the water

and said 'you know, I'll bet if we took the scales

off that thing and ate it raw, it would be pretty

tasty,' I salute you.

The following evening, Masa - the L&D Manager for Tokyo - had yet another treat in store for us: he had arranged for a private boat to take us out on the Tokyo harbor, where we would eat dinner and do karaoke. I've never been more excited for anything in my life. Despite what some people may believe, I've only recently come out of my shell, and the thought of karaoke 5 years ago would have set me sweating like someone had stuck two saturated dish sponges under my arms. Recently, however, I have become what you might call a karaoke fiend, having apparently left what little remained of my shame somewhere along the way and replaced it with a burning desire to belt the likes of Boyz II Men, Barry Manilow, and Air Supply at the top of my lungs (and occasionally, vocal range). Oh yeah, I was looking forward to this.

The taxi had a little TV in it. I had no idea what

was going on, but fortunately my state of utter

confusion only lasted the 5 minutes duration of

the cab ride.

Our ride for the evening.

Inside the boat, most of dinner was laid out for

us already. The ceiling resulted in me wandering

around in a bit of a stoop whenever I wasn't

sitting.

All you really need in life: a totally sweet karaoke

setup, and a fridge full of cold beers and sake.

Sashimi platter - I can only assume there must be

some sort of long-term detrimental effect from all

of the raw fish I ate, but have yet to discover

what that actually is. Hmm...haven't noticed

that before...

The presentation is always so amazing with

Japanese food - I almost feel guilty shoveling it

into my mouth and swallowing without chewing

...like a pelican.

The main dish was a bowl of noodles, mushrooms,

oysters, prawns, tofu, and other deliciousness.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the fact that the

Japanese are exceedingly hospitable, and among

other things, are quite adept at refilling your

empty glass should you reach the bottom of it.

Repeatedly.

It was raining, but the weather let up just long

enough for me to lean precariously out of one

of the windows to get this shot, as the boat

yawed dangerously to one side.

Niamh and Masa help get the party started.

Everyone else alternated with me, for the most

part. What can I say, I enjoy karaoke. Actually,

that's not a fair statement...karaoke is like AIR.

Yoshi sets our hearts on fire with a passionate

rendition of Bon Jovi's 'Always.' A sing-a-long

was imminent.

The evening ended far too soon, and we made our way somberly back to the harbor. The following morning, our last day in the office, Niamh and I decided to play tourist and run around taking goofy photos.

One of many drink vending machines in the office.

I think I ended up trying most of these, which

ended up being a game of drink roulette.

This one was even more of a gamble, as I

didn't even have the bottle at which to look

to venture a guess at what each drink was.

At one point, I ended up with a buttery-corn

flavored liquid. Not terrible...

Niamh expresses thinly-veiled disgust for the

daifuku. That's ok - more for me.

"Miffy, you were the best pet bottle ever, until I

drained you of your fluids and had no more use

for you." *clink*

Ok, yes - probably going to hell for this one.

It took me quite some time to get used to the

'doors' in the office. I only wish there were a gong

sound to accompany me every time I walked

through one.

Just below the train station across from the office

was a massive underground food market called

Tokyu Food Show. It was incredible. More food

than I had ever seen. And it all looked amazing.

Their baked good section was literally aglow with

golden goodness. It was like some glorious pastry

mecca.

This was a 'restaurant' just outside of the office.

You order from the machine to the left and pick

up the food inside. That's right...it's THE FUTURE.

The following morning, Niamh and I had planned a little day trip to Hakone (rather, I had planned the trip and Niamh, who had arrived 2 days before, was tagging along - either way, I was glad to have her). But before that business began, I had a personal side trip I needed to run. I had heard rumors of the Tsukiji fish markets, where massive tuna was sold for thousands of dollars apiece. Surely it would be worth waking up at 4 am!

So, I woke up at 4 am. This only helped skew my slightly-shifted jetlag, and resulted in me walking into a few walls / pieces of furniture / decorative vases before I could finally find a light switch, at which point I was blinded and repeated the whole process all over again. Throwing myself together, I headed out the door into the darkness. Surprisingly, there were quite a few people out at this hour. And guess where they were all going...

It was easy enough to find the markets - the crowd essentially carried me the vast majority of the way. Upon arrival, the giant maw of an open-air warehouse lay agape in front of me.

This really didn't look like someplace I was supposed

to be...

I'll say this about the markets: from what I understand, the people who actually work there hate the tourists with a fiery burning wasabi-fueled passion. And I don't blame them. There were hundreds of people flocking to the narrow corridors in this warehouse at this ungodly hour of the morning. I was actually shoved aside at one point by some guy on a motorized cart thing. Resisting the temptation to pick him up by his shirt collar and give him a stern lecture on manners, I made my way through the crates of freshly-caught seafood.

I wouldn't even know where to begin in this place.

Overwhelmed, I would just walk up to the first

stall I saw, point at something, and end up walking

away with 10 kg of eel noses or something.

For a city that prides itself on its world-famous fish market, Sydney has a thing or two to learn. The Tsukiji fish market made Sydney's look like the seafood selection at a local grocery store. It was filled with row after row after row of every kind of sea creature imaginable. Finally, I reached the room where they were auctioning off the tuna.

I wasn't sure what was more staggering, the size

of these fish, how much people pay for them (up

to $10,000 for a good one), or the fact that all

these people don't get to sleep in.

"Yes, excuse me, sir...this tuna you sold me? It's

hollow."

More shellfish than I ever even knew existed.

These scallops were massive - my memory may

be a little hazy, but I believe they were about the

size of a large birthday cake.

Having satisfied my curiosity quite permanently regarding the fish markets, I made my merry way back to the hotel to meet Niamh. As mentioned, we were going to Hakone, a couple of hours by train to the west of Tokyo, close to Mt. Fuji. It was supposed to be one of the better areas for viewing the mountain, but as we boarded the train, the ugly rain clouds and fog gave us a rather good idea of what we could be expected to see that day. Clutching tentatively to optimism, we began our journey.

Niamh was a great travel buddy because, like me,

she enjoys making inane faces in rather mundane

situations.

2-packs of eggs. Perfect if you want a 2-egg

omelette. And you're a child. *grabs 2 bags*

We arrived in Hakone after a lovely train journey.

While it was bright out, the weather had not

improved.

Well, I knew there was another reason we needed

to go to Hakone.

The gondola took us from the train station up the

mountain (after taking a cable car to the gondola

station). The view was breathtaking. Oh, sorry...

I meant to say the view was complete and utter

crap. I get those two mixed up all the time.

There was a bell at the top of the gondola just

begging to be rung. Who am I to keep a sexy

bell like this waiting?

The higher altitude combined with the disappointment

of not being able to see Mt. Fuji led to some rather

interesting diversions.

We wandered outside at one point where the sun

shone down like a golden- NIAMH! HOLD ON TO

SOMETHING! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,

SOMEONE GRAB HER.

Another one of the unique reasons that Hakone is famous is its black eggs. The eggs are black because they are boiled in the sulfurous springs at the peak of the hill. This, for whatever reason, makes them black. Not being one to turn away food, at least until after I've tried it / it's tried to kill me, I had to find these eggs.

You don't have to tell me twice! Sign me up!

Now, where do I go to find this egg yolk exuded

so I can eat at pease?

I have never seen anything so deliciously

appetizing in my life. Tearing into the bag

with my teeth, I anxiously awaited the

tantalizing morsel that was these eggs.

To eat an egg: First, take in the delicious

aroma. Note the hint of beef jerky and

bacon.

Second, consume.

Lastly, notice the delicate palate of bacon

and beef jerky once again. It really wasn't

that bad - I ate both of them.

Sulfurous streams flowed down the mountainside.

You don't really realize how much the stench of

brimstone sticks to the inside of your nostrils

until you've spent a few wretched minutes or so

in it.

The path seemed like a well-paved route into

Mordor.

Fortunately, a dedicate bronchus doesn't run in

my family. Also, note the part about the gases

being fatal. Why were they leaving people to

wander around free up here?

Another steaming pool of opaque water. There

may or may not have been eggs in here.

The ring destroyed, I descended Mount Doom

and returned to the Shire, where I lived happily

ever after...to the end of my days.

You do not want to mess with these cats - they

will kill you. I can only assume that the sulfur

has mutated them and their bronchus into an

insane killing machine.

The toxic vapors finally getting to us, we began

to act completely out of line.

Niamh, too, succumbs to a bit of subversiveness.

We stopped briefly for lunch. Aside from an

exercise in homo-eroticism, this picture also

shows what was a really awful corn dog.

We also got to go on a freaking pirate ship.

Yarr, there be stormy seas ahead...but there also

be beers on board, so...that's something.

Despite the fog, the surrounding shoreline of the

lake provided some excellent views, even if I had

to step out into the deluge to enjoy it.

This jerk didn't seem to care where we were going.

Not once did I hear him report to the captain.

Inside the ship, another example of why I am just

slightly too large for Japan.

We returned to the city, where we meandered

around aimlessly for a bit until we found our bus.

...but not before we found a last couple of ways

to entertain ourselves.

There's a good chance that this is insulting

to an entire culture. But at least I'm not

picking on one particular person. Unity

in numbers, right?

Back in Tokyo, Niamh and I found a great little

Indonesian restaurant right around the corner

from our hotel. They had these little dishes with

frogs on them that I wanted so very much to steal.

Spring rolls, nasi goreng, and wine - a fitting end

to what had been one hell of a week.

There's no doubt in my mind that I'd like to go back to Japan. There are so many things I have yet to see: Kyoto, Osaka, Okinawa, and most importantly, a restaurant north of Tokyo where they have monkey waiters.